The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

Patriarchal culture historically sold the idea that men could find satisfaction through work. Shifts in capitalism and society, however, left many men out of work, so a new narrative was needed. Money—in any form and obtained by any means—became the prevailing way for men to seek fulfillment. Most of the work available to men in the US is dehumanizing and boring; patriarchal capitalism offers addictions to fill the gaps that work leaves behind. Yet the patriarchal idea that men should feel satisfaction with this work as providers and caretakers of their family conflicts with the way that men truly feel. hooks suggests that the notion of men as providers is a stereotype that clashes with reality. Many men squander their earnings on individual pursuits or refuse to pay alimony. Furthermore, the struggles of the middle and working classes reveal that many men find it difficult to support themselves, not to mention their families.

Frustration with work manifests once more through sexual domination. Meanwhile, women who enter the workplace feel empowered yet disillusioned with the male need for control. They go home after working long hours and find themselves confronted with the lion’s share of household work and a partner who is unable to meet their emotional needs.