The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

In this passage, Manson develops his discussion of the “backwards law.” A term borrowed from Alan Watts, the idea elevates the acceptance of the negative rather than the more orthodox thinking of embracing the positive.

“Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others.”

An important aspect of the book is that it challenges us to consider what’s at the root of the paradox. Part of Manson’s strategy throughout the book is to reframe conventional wisdom, and this quote illustrates that.

“Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires.

The first part of this quote is largely understood as conventional wisdom and recalls the mantra, “no pain, no gain.” The second sentence draws attention to the need to face negative experiences head-on rather than devise strategies that prevent us from this essential act.