The Sandbox

“Don’t be silly; it’s as warm as toast. Look at that nice young man over there. He doesn’t think it’s cold.”

Daddy has just complained of the cold, and Mommy replies as she typically does to her husband by denying the reality of his complaints. Mommy constantly engages with Daddy by asking for his input or responding to his grievances, but she only accepts and encourages statements that echo her own sentiments. Mommy treats Daddy like a child whose wants and needs are insignificant and unworthy of consideration, which leads Daddy to become more childish.

“Whatever you say, Mommy.”

When Mommy asks what Daddy thinks, Daddy has been trained to reaffirm Mommy’s authority. Mommy is happy with his lack of independent thoughts or beliefs, only becoming frustrated when he acts like an entity with feelings, needs, and questions.

“All right now; let’s get on with it.”

Mommy’s approach to her mother’s death and funeral is very unemotional and matter of fact. In real life, dealing with grief from the loss of a loved one is an ongoing process, one that stretches around and beyond the practicalities of death and funerals. But Mommy’s grieving process is a well-ordered system, a ritual she performs in a certain progression that ends with acceptance and moving on.