The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship

In healing the emotional body, envisioning one’s wounds as physical can be insightful. These emotional wounds, often festering and hidden beneath layers of self-deception, require individuals to wield truth like a scalpel. This act, while painful, is essential for exposing hurt and beginning the healing process. For example, a traumatic event like sexual assault influences one’s ability to experience joy and intimacy. The survivor, burdened by trauma, might struggle with fear or unworthiness, mistakenly believing they are their trauma. The key to healing lies not with external but internal validation: Healing requires pursuit of truth, challenging lies by recognizing one’s pain as real but not encompassing.

Forgiveness emerges as a powerful balm in this healing: To Ruiz, it is not about absolving perpetuators, but granting oneself peace by releasing hurt—which is often easier said than done. He believes forgiveness is a skill that humans tend to lose as they grow older, overshadowed by pride. Returning to a state of true—or childlike—forgiveness requires shedding one’s ego. This process requires confronting fear or disappointment in a healthy way, not with self-pity. Healing is unique to each individual: It’s not just about navigating trauma, but grievances that shape one’s self-image and interactions.