The Great Believers

As a child, Claire seemed closest to Fiona when she came in to help at the resale shop (a chicly curated establishment to help benefit the Howard Brown Foundation). Fiona recalls a particular afternoon when there was a tremendous snowstorm, and she brought both Claire and her friend Sophia from ballet class. Claire was excited by the prospect of a sleepover at the shop, and felt extremely disappointed when Fiona insisted on walking Sophia to her apartment a few blocks away. Claire threw a fit on the sidewalk, and Fiona froze, unsure what to do, until a woman passing by told her to pick Claire up and carry her.

At that point in Fiona’s life, she was having an affair with her yoga instructor. She became convinced that she loved him, even though—looking back—he wasn’t very remarkable.

Fiona also remembers the flood of emotions she felt at Claire’s birth. Claire refused to nurse from Fiona, and Damian tried to console her by saying the problem might be psychological. Fiona was hurt by his suggestion, and felt that her inability to bond with Claire was her own fault.