The Fountains of Silence: A Novel

“The torments, like mental cockroaches, still crawl through Rafa’s mind: holding a coin against the wall with his nose; kneeling on chickpeas; being held down and burned with cigarettes. He remembers pure fear causing him to wet the bed, then the brothers tying the soiled sheet around his neck, insisting he wear his cowardice like a cape for all to see. He remembers losing weight, losing his hair, losing his courage.” 

Here, Rafa recalls what happened to him in the boys’ home, the abuse he endured, and how that abuse continues to haunt him. He views himself as cowardly because he seems captive to fear, but in fact, he is traumatized.

“María Alonso Moya Matheson was born in the Galicia region of Spain but raised as a Spanish American in Texas. In public, his mother is the wife of an oil magnate and appears completely American. She baked fundraiser cakes for the Eisenhower campaign. She supports the Hockaday School and the Junior League, and is accepted by the socialites of Preston Hollow and Dallas at large. At home, his mom speaks to him only in Spanish. […] Many of their servants have Spanish heritage. His mother makes certain that Spanish food and customs are fixtures in his life.” 

This description of Daniel’s mother illustrates her dual identity. Despite her attempts at fitting in, baking cakes and supporting the Junior League, her overall behavior is too “ethnic” for Dallas high society. Yet her adherence to Spanish customs gives her son, who has never been to Spain, an affinity for her homeland.

“‘I tell myself this is temporary. But we work ourselves day and night, and nothing changes. No wonder Ana and Rafa dream as they do. No wonder Rafa idolizes his fellow gravedigger. Rafa says they call him Fuga. Escape. […] Of course they want to escape. I often wonder what Mother and Father would tell us to do.’” 

Julia’s words to her husband reflect her frustration with the conditions in which they live. Julia is exhausted emotionally and physically from her attempts to keep the family safe and together, and she worries about her siblings and their dreams, and how those dreams could get them into trouble.