Thank You for Smoking

“I think the issue here before us today is whether we as Americans want to abide by such documents as the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. If the answer is yes, then I think our course is clear. […] [I]f we go tampering with the bedrock principles that our founding fathers laid down, many of whom, you’ll recall, were themselves tobacco farmers, just for the sake of indulging a lot of frankly unscientific speculation, then we’re placing at risk not only our own freedoms, but those of our children, and our children’s children.”

Speaking here to a large group of health care professionals at the Clean Lungs 2000 seminar, as he often does, Nick faces an audience that unanimously views him negatively. Turning aside the point of the gathering—health care—Nick focuses on the issue of individual freedom, painting those who want to curb smoking as attackers of enshrined American rights and freedoms. This quote demonstrates his ability to distract from key issues, confound his opponents, obfuscate the true facts about tobacco use, and present himself as an earnest believer in the innocuous nature of tobacco.

“The name Mod Squad was not a reference to the 1960s TV show about a trio of hip, racially and sexually integrated undercover cops, but an acronym for ‘Merchants of Death.’ Since they consisted of the chief spokespeople for the tobacco, alcohol, and firearms industries, it seemed to fit. Nick said they might as well call themselves that since it was surely the name the press would give them if they ever got wind of their little circle.”

The Mod Squad is Nick’s only reliable set of friends and advisors, mostly because each of them represents a controversial but profitable industry: tobacco, alcohol, and firearms. Each of their organizations has adopted a euphemistic name to conceal their true advocacy purposes. They constantly complain that there is never any good news about the products they represent. Journalists contact them immediately when anything negative involving their industries becomes news. As Nick reveals, the pressures they share come not only from legislators, public outcry, and the media but also from within their organizations, which expect them to perform miracles to secure public acceptance of the industries they represent.