The Mother-in-Law

“Someone once told me that you have two families in your life—the one you are born into and the one you choose. But that’s not entirely true, is it? Yes, you may get to choose your partner, but you don’t, for instance, choose your children. You don’t choose your brothers-or-sisters-in-law, you don’t choose your partner’s spinster aunt with the drinking problem or cousin with the revolving door of girlfriends who don’t speak English. Most importantly, you don’t choose your mother-in-law. The cackling mercenaries of fate determine it all.”

Lucy reflects on the common saying that one gets to choose a family through marriage. She pushes back on the concept of choice and argues that families are often determined by fate. Lucy refers to fate’s “cackling mercenaries” to illustrate the evil or mischievous nature of fate that often leads to fatal consequences. Hepworth develops this theme throughout the novel as she weaves the story of Diana’s death.

“If you ask me, everyone is a little too interested in their children’s happiness. Ask anyone what they wish for their kids and they’ll all say they want them to be happy. Happy! Not strong in the face of adversity or grateful in the face of misfortune. I, on the other hand, have always wanted hardship for my kids. Real, honest hardship. Challenges big enough to make them empathetic and wise.”

Diana relates her philosophy on parenting. Unlike most parents, Diana prioritizes instilling perseverance within her children rather than ensuring their complete happiness. Resolute, Diana carries her philosophy into Ollie and Nettie’s adulthood as she refuses to support them financially. Her choices ultimately lead to her death.

“The problem is it’s so easy for a mother-in-law to get it wrong. It seems there is an endless list of unwritten rules. Be involved but not overbearing. Be supportive but don’t overstep. Help with the grandkids, but don’t take over. Offer wisdom but never advice. Obviously, I haven’t mastered this list. The sheer weight of the requirements makes it intimidating even to try. The most frustrating part is that it’s nearly impossible for a father-in-law to mess it up. He has to be welcoming. That’s it.”

Diana comments on the difficulties of being a mother-in-law who is expected to follow an implicit set of social guidelines. Self-aware, she understands her faults as a mother-in-law and points out the double standards for her and her husband. Through shifting narrative points of view, Hepworth paints a full picture of the complex relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and examines the added burdens of expected social behavior placed on women.