I'll Give You the Sun

“Jude peers up at me from it, sunny, knowing. Thank you, I tell her in my mind. She’s always rescuing me, which usually is embarrassing, but not now. That was righteous. (PORTRAIT, SELF-PORTRAIT: Twins: Noah Looking in a Mirror, Jude out of It).”

Jude is constantly cast in the role of Noah’s savior, and this continues even after their relationship suffers a rift. This passage also demonstrates how Noah responds to his world with mind-paintings that communicate his emotions in succinct titles.

“Every time Grandma S. read Jude’s and my palms, she’d tell us that we have enough jealousy in our lines to ruin our lives ten times over. I know she’s right about this. When I draw Jude and me with see-through skin, there are always rattlesnakes in our bellies. I only have a few. Jude had seventeen at last count.”

Noah acknowledges the simmering conflict between Jude and him, born of the jealousy that they have each always felt with respect to the other. This calls to the main theme of the book, Rivalry and Identity in Sibling Relationships as the competition that exists between Noah and Jude propels the action of the narrative and presents the central conflict that the story eventually resolves.

“To disappear into thin air: Cut off three feet of blond curls and shove remaining hair into a black skullcap. Keep tattoo tucked away where no one can see it. Wear only oversized hoodies, oversized jeans, and sneakers. Stay quiet. (Occasionally, I write a bible passage of my own.)”

Jude reflects on a “Bible” passage of her own creation, with reference to how she has changed, and why, after Dianna’s death. This entry points to two things: Jude’s obsessiveness with the “Bible” and using it to ward of bad luck, as well as the root of her obsession, which is her perception that the loss of her virginity is somehow linked to Dianna’s death. Both events seemed like they were out of her control, and Jude believes that compulsively following the “Bible” will bring back some semblance of order and predictability in her life.