If I Stay

A few hours have passed and Mia is back in the ICU recovering from her emergency surgery. Though she is in a more stable physical condition, mentally and emotionally, Mia is still in crisis, to the point where she is contemplating death as an easier option than life because it would be a release from her suffering.

Willow arrives fifteen minutes after Mia is brought back to the ICU and she brings Mia’s Grandma and Grandpa to sit beside her in bed. Gran shares gossip with Mia as if she were fully conscious, sharing stories about her father, Aunt Glo, birds, and the cousins. While Gran talks, she gently combs Mia’s hair with her fingers. Though she tries to lose herself in Gran’s happy babble, Mia cannot seem to distract herself from the troubling thoughts of life and death. She sees the power to choose between life and death as a great burden, and very much wishes she could have a “pinch hitter carry her home” (180) or decide for her. 

Later, she finds herself alone in the ICU except for Gramps. He sits by her bed in tears, speaking to her as if she were awake. Though he desperately wants Mia to live, he tells her that he will understand if she decides to let go and leave them.