How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog

“How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog” was written by American slam poet Taylor Mali and published in his first full-length collection of poetry, What Learning Leaves (2002). “How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog” celebrates every aspect of a new relationship from the honeymoon phase to the little annoying quirks partners discover about each other as they grow together. Mali explores how relationships are about balance, compromise, and mutual love by comparing romantic connection to pet ownership, with characteristic eccentricity and optimism.

Taylor Mali is best known for his spoken word performances, emerging as one of the most humorous, optimistic, clever, and accessible artists to come out of the slam poetry scene. Mali’s written work and performances are heavily influenced by the historic tradition of oral storytelling (see: Contextual Analysis “Literary Context”) and often center on themes of the value of education, the nobility of teaching, love, creativity, and childlike wonder.

Poet Biography

Taylor Mali is one of the most notable poets to have emerged from the American poetry slam movement (see: Contextual Analysis “Literary Context”). He has been writing and performing poetry as his primary occupation since 2000. Taylor McDowell Mali, born on March 28, 1965, is an 11th-generation New Yorker. He is one of four children and is the son of well-known children’s book author, Jane L. Mali.

Mali graduated from the Collegiate School, a private school for boys, in 1983. He earned his bachelor of arts in English from Bowdoin College in 1987 and went on to pursue his master of arts in English and creative writing at Kansas State University (1993). Mali spent a total of nine years in the classroom after earning his degrees, teaching every subject from history and English to SAT test preparation and math. Mali is an advocate for the profession of teaching, often writing about the nobility of having and being a good educator in his own works.

Mali is the author of four collections of poetry: What Learning Leaves (2002), The Last Time As We Are (2009), Bouquet of Red Flags (2014), and Late Father and Other Poems (2018). Mali’s poetic voice is articulate, accessible, and often humorous, interrogating themes such as love, loss, passion, and grief (specifically associated with the loss of his first wife, Rebecca) with a vulnerability that connects readers to his own unique experiences. Mali is also the author of a book of essays titled, What Teachers Make: In Praise of the Greatest Job in the World (2012) in which he defends the profession of teaching, drawing on his own life as an educator and traveling performance poet.

Mali is a four-time National Poetry Slam champion, and the former president of Poetry Slam, Incorporated: a nonprofit organization that oversees the international coalition of poetry slams, promoting the creation and performance of poetry across the continental United States as well as in seven other distinct countries. Mali has taught or performed poetry in 49 of the 50 United States as well as in a multitude of foreign countries. He was one of the original poets to perform on the HBO series, Def Poetry Jam, as well as appearing in the 1997 documentary film, SlamNation.

Mali makes his living entirely as a spoken word artist and voice-over performer, traveling around the country sharing his own work, as well as teaching writing workshops to students of all ages. He lives in Brooklyn where he currently curates the Page Meets Stage reading series for the Bowery Poetry Club.

Poem Text

Mali, Taylor. “How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog.” 2002. TaylorMali.com.

Summary

Taylor Mali’s poem “How Falling in Love is like Owning a Dog” explores the responsibility, unpredictability, and sheer joy of falling for someone. Mali considers the facets of romantic connection by comparing romantic partnership to pet ownership. “Love” is personified throughout the poem as a dog: endearing, comforting, loyal, needy, passionate, and fun (see: Literary Devices “Personification”).

Mali characterizes love as “a big responsibility” (Line 1), telling readers to consider their potential partner very carefully before committing to them. Stanza 2 reveals love as warm and comforting, a living thing that has needs to satisfy. Stanzas 3, 4, and 5 reveal that love is a double-edged sword; it is charming and irritating all at the same time. Slowly, Mali reveals that falling in love is a balancing act, an equal exchange between two partners to maintain its beauty. Mali writes about the unpredictability of love in Stanzas 6 and 7, and he meditates on how opening up to another person brings with it new and exciting experiences. The final stanza of the poem, Stanza 8, reveals the core message of the poem: Love is a reciprocal exchange; to receive love, one must also give it back in equal measure to one’s partner.