Does My Head Look Big In This?

At Adam’s party, “everybody’s divided up into their status groups” (163). Amal tries to relax as she observes people getting drunk and behaving wildly.

Adam asks to have a private conversation. On their way to a secluded area, a drunken boy accosts Amal, slurring that Adam is trying to get her to sleep with him. She is in shock, so when Adam tries to kiss her, she refuses him, saying confusedly, “I don’t do that stuff” (167). Adam is hurt and tells her she is repressing herself. Amal tries to explain how she sees things, “but the atmosphere is getting more intense and uncomfortable” (169). Adam grows distant and cold, saying, “You don’t understand me and I don’t understand you. We’re even” (170).

Leaving him, Amal runs into Tia, who makes fun of her, so Amal threatens her and pushes her to the floor. 

Even though Amal is worried about how Adam will behave in school on Monday, she does not regret her decision. However, her concerns fade as she learns of a terrorist attack on Bali. Amal feels terrible, because “I can’t even break down and grieve without wondering about what people are thinking of me” (173-174).