Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

We see Tsukuru’s life in two different time frames: in college in Tokyo at the age of 20, and in the novel’s present, when he is 36. At both ages, the sensitive and alienated Tsukuru struggles to fit into society and never quite manages to feel at ease with himself. Tsukuru’s inability to fit in does not make him a failure: He does well enough at college, builds a career doing what he loves (building and modifying train stations), and he is generally liked by other people he comes across. However, his intense introversion makes Tsukuru feel incomplete. He often measures himself by what he is not, and he is ultimately dissatisfied with who he is.

Because of this alienation, Tsukuru places a great deal of significance on one of his few past successful relationships—his former friendship with a group of peers from high school. In their company, Tsukuru felt as though he belonged, so when this group summarily dropped him, he began a steep decline and an obsession with dying. Despite his emergence from this depression, the ripple effects from the abandonment continue well into his adulthood: Tsukuru often feels passive and aimless. He does not thrive on victimhood, but he nonetheless feels powerless to take command of his life.