Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

The third element of true belonging is a belief in the “inextricable human connection” that connects individuals to “every other human in the world” (117). This belief in a connective force “rooted in love and compassion” keeps individuals from turning towards hate, dehumanizing language, and emotional manipulation (117). Furthermore, Brown argues that faith in human connection is “one of our most renewable sources of courage in the wilderness” (117).

When individuals are severed from this belief, the courage to brave the wilderness becomes “too daunting,” and people settle for fitting in from their “factions and echo chambers” (118). As Brown notes, people can be challenging without even trying. However, when people make the effort to “show up for collective moments of joy and pain,” they bear witness to human connection and sustain a belief that true belonging is “possible for all of us” (120).

Brown shares several examples of collective experiences of joy and pain ranging from attending music concerts to watching soccer fans in a packed stadium to meeting with neighbors the day after the Sandy Hook school shootings. She notes that solitary, sustained exposure to media coverage is “the quickest way for anxiety and fear to […] plant their roots of secondary trauma” (127).