After I Do

Taylor Jenkins Reid’s After I Do (2014) is a contemporary romance novel that traces the devolution and evolution of Lauren Spencer’s relationship with her husband, Ryan Cooper, focusing on Lauren’s internal experience as she and Ryan try to navigate a year-long separation. The novel uses this premise to examine The Impact of Marital Separation on Personal Identity, The Evolution of Love and Intimacy, and The Search for Freedom and Personal Growth.

This guide refers to the 2014 Washington Square Press paperback edition.

Plot Summary

Lauren Spencer is 19 years old when she meets and falls in love with Ryan Cooper. Lauren and Ryan are both attending college at UCLA, and Ryan makes Lauren feel more comfortable in her new university setting. The longer they’re together, the more convinced Lauren becomes that they have the perfect romance. They take hikes together, go out for meals, meet one another’s families, and rent an apartment in Hollywood after graduation. Four years into their relationship, Ryan proposes to Lauren while they are hiking in Yosemite National Park to celebrate their anniversary. Lauren says yes, and they marry soon afterward, honeymoon in Big Sur, and secure a house in Lauren’s favorite Hancock Park neighborhood. Lauren feels happy to be with Ryan and is excited about starting their adult life together.

Eleven years into Lauren’s relationship with Ryan, the couple fights almost constantly. Then one night, they lose their car in the parking lot after attending a Dodgers game. Once they finally find the car and return home, the fight only intensifies. Lauren demands that they talk about their relationship issues because things have been tense for months, and they have yet to communicate about their feelings. Lauren gets so upset during the argument that she throws a vase at Ryan, causing him to storm out. The next morning, the couple wakes up together and tries to talk about their issues. During the conversation, they realize that they are no longer in love with each other. They decide to separate for a year to decide if their marriage is worth saving.

Lauren goes to the house of her sister, Rachel Spencer, on the same weekend that Ryan moves out. Rachel is understanding and tries to comfort Lauren. However, when Lauren returns home on Sunday, she is overwhelmed by how empty her home feels. She has never been alone before and doesn’t know if she’ll be able to handle Ryan’s absence. She finds a note from him on the table, requesting that she not contact him while they are apart.

Over the following weeks, Lauren spends more and more time with Rachel and the rest of her family. She starts talking more openly to her mom, Leslie Spencer, and her grandmother, Lois Spencer. Both women offer Lauren advice about marriage and love, but Lauren isn’t sure if she agrees with either of them. Meanwhile, she communicates with her friend and coworker, Mila, about what is happening in her personal life. Mila encourages Lauren to enjoy this time away from Ryan and to claim her independence. Lauren tries to take Mila’s advice, but her self-care tactics feel empty.

Then one day, Lauren logs into Ryan’s email because he hasn’t changed his password. In his draft folder, she finds several unsent emails addressed to her. In the drafts, Ryan tells Lauren how miserable he is without her. He also details the things that have been frustrating him in their marriage. Lauren feels emotional upon reading these notes, but she also appreciates Ryan’s honesty. She tells Mila about the drafts, and Mila suggests that Lauren start drafting emails to Ryan.

When Ryan’s email drafts reveal that he has begun dating other women, Lauren asks Mila to set her up on a blind date. She meets David, who is going through a divorce. They soon become friends with benefits. Lauren and David go on dates, have sex, and talk openly about their respective feelings of heartbreak and longing.

As the months pass, Lauren adjusts to her solitude, and she and Rachel grow closer. She also starts communicating with her brother, Charlie, who is moving back to LA from Chicago to start a family with his new girlfriend, Natalie. Meanwhile, Lauren continues to reflect on her relationship with Ryan and asks herself difficult questions about marriage.

After sex with David one night, Lauren tells him that she wants them to stop seeing each other. Ryan’s latest email drafts suggest that he wants to get back together with Lauren, and she tells David that she needs to be alone to figure out what she wants. David is understanding. Shortly thereafter, Rachel calls Lauren to say that Lois is in the hospital. Lauren suddenly realizes how much she misses and needs Ryan. She drafts him an email communicating her feelings. Later, she runs into him at the hospital. They embrace and profess their love, admitting that they have both been reading one another’s email drafts.

Lois passes away on the same day that Natalie gives birth to a son, Jonathan. The family holds a funeral for Lois and welcomes Jonathan into the world. Meanwhile, Lauren and Ryan repair their relationship.