A Long Way Down

“Wanting to die seems like it might be a part of being alive.”

JJ provides one of the central questions of the book: is it possible to go through life without every wanting to die? This echoes his later sentiment that there might not be a difference between people who are just getting by and people who are suicidal.

“There’s more than one way to be a loser. There’s more than one way of losing.” 

JJ can only see himself as a loser on the roof of Toppers’ House. What he can’t yet see is that just as there are many ways to lose, there are also many ways to win; he has options for winning in his life besides his band. 

“It wasn’t that we thought she was really suicidal; it was just that it felt like she might do whatever she wanted to do at any given moment, and if she wanted to jump off a building to see what it felt like, she’d try it.” 

JJ’s perception of Jess is astute. Later, when Jess begins to examine her own mind and the way it works, it is clear that she would agree with JJ’s assessment. She can never feel dependable because she knows that she acts impulsively, and the next impulse always seems to be on its way.